Therapy…who needs therapy? I’m not crazy…
If this is how you think, then you are not alone. I come from a community where therapy is still a taboo and asking for help and seeking therapy is still considered a weakness even in this day and age. I am not talking about any stranger here. This was me …just eight years ago when my husband left my kids and me behind and started a new life (nothing against him…he did what he thought was best for him). I was in a dark place, yet instead of seeking help, all I was worried about was a social boycott and “what will they think of me?”. The people I was concerned about, cared a crap about me, but I was tied down to social notions and pressures, and the need to fit-in was crippling. Those dark days that made me cry and almost sucked me into a depression are the reason for this impressive, gorgeous, post-traumatic growth.
Sometimes life makes sense only in hindsight and connecting the dots today, I see why I opted to heal others. Not only did I study professional counseling but pursued a dual licensure and became a Marriage and Family Therapist. It was HARD…and lonely…and dark….and scary, but I took a day at a time and small baby steps in 4 years brought me here in front of you today. I can barely recognize myself in the pictures from back then. I was so scared, having no clue of what tomorrow would look like.
Paradoxically, I specialize in divorce, infidelity and couples counseling, and yes, it makes me laugh and cry…both at the same time. The only thought that comes to my mind at times is, “only if I knew better.”
I would never recommend anyone to show their chivalry the way I tried to. I could have healed much faster and gotten back on my feet, recovering from this setback much earlier if I had sought help. Friends….therapy is no miracle, but it sure helps the psyche process the emotions we otherwise can’t, especially not on our own, and definitely not when we are terribly hurting.
Today roles have changed, and my life’s mission is to help people in distress, one conversation at a time. This past one year has shown me that I had to go through hell myself so that I could understand what real pain is.
Now when I see a woman hiding her tears behind a strong front or anger, I can see through the facade. When a 6-foot man tries to be “the macho guy” because “men aren’t supposed to cry”…I can read between the lines and see through the hollowness his eyes are trying to hide from me. The worst times of my life have given me the most beautiful opportunities today, and I know the future is gonna be better.
Therapy is not just for the crazy. You don’t need to be crazy to see a counselor. Sometimes we just need to talk to a stranger who will not judge us and who will empathize with us. Someone who will look through our bullshit and say, “It’s OK. I know you are hurting. Cry if you want to. You are safe here. I have your back. Let me help you”. Like I shared with my friend Shauna two days ago, we need to let go of the shitty thoughts and the shit on a daily basis (cranial-emotional-detox), because if we don’t, our life begins to stink.